Do mothers have to breastfeed? What if I don't want to?
Many mums choose to breastfeed. It's a lovely way to care for your baby, and has many health benefits for you both. When it's going well, breastfeeding can help you to build a close bond with your baby.
However, breastfeeding isn't the only way to care for your baby. There's no evidence to say that babies who are formula-fed are less well-loved than breastfed babies. Though breastmilk is good for your baby, you don't have to breastfeed, or feel that you are a second-class mum, if you choose to feed your baby with formula milk.
Some women cannot breastfeed for medical reasons while others really don't like the idea of breastfeeding. Or they try it and find it just doesn't feel right for them. There may be all sorts of reasons why you feel this way, and you may not even be able to explain some of them.
Perhaps you are worried that you won't be able to breastfeed successfully. Or maybe your mum or sister didn't breastfeed, so you think you won't be able to either (which isn't true!). Maybe you're a second-time mum, and because you found breastfeeding difficult with your first baby, you don’t want to go through it all again.
It’s a good idea to get plenty of information about breastfeeding before you make up your mind. Talk things over with your doctor or speak to a breastfeeding specialist, while you're pregnant. You could take antenatal classes, as breastfeeding is one of the topics discussed. Read tips from other breastfeeding mums for more help.
No one should try to make you feel you 'ought' to breastfeed. But medical experts are likely to point out the benefits of breastfeeding, while supporting your right to not do it.
Like some mums, you can leave the decision until your baby arrives. Although, it's not easy to switch from formula feeding to breastfeeding, it can be done. If you start formula feeding and later decide want to give breastfeeding a try, talk to your doctor to get help in building up your milk supply.
If you aren't sure one way or the other, you could try breastfeeding first. Breastfeeding for the first three or so days means your baby will get the benefit of your first milk (colostrum), which is full of antibodies. These help to strengthen your baby's immune system and fight infection. Any amount of breastfeeding has a positive effect, but the longer you breastfeed, the greater the benefits.
Some mums start breastfeeding and then make the switch to formula. This most often happens because they didn't get the help and support they needed to tackle breastfeeding problems, or because they lost confidence. They can feel angry, depressed and disappointed, and sometimes regret how things worked out.
Some mums prefer to express milk, put it in a bottle and feed their baby. They find it easier than breastfeeding and their baby still gets the benefits of breastmilk. Read more about how to store expressed breastmilk.
Whatever your reason for not breastfeeding, or for stopping breastfeeding, there's no reason for you to feel guilty. If breastfeeding didn't work out for you, talk through your feelings with your doctor, a breastfeeding specialist or a family member. It may help you to hear an explanation, to learn it wasn't your fault, and that you don't have to breastfeed to be a great mum.